In Highway to the
Heart, I discuss the “seven desires of every heart” as described by Mark
and Debra Laaser. The basic idea is that every single one of us, with our
unique experiences and personalities, has the same seven basic needs that need
to be met.
These universal desires are: to be heard and understood, to
be affirmed, to be blessed, to be safe, to be touched, to be chosen, and to be
included. Upon reading these, you may be thinking, “These are obvious. I knew
that already,” and you may be right. However, when people get comfortable in a
relationship, they may fall into a routine and forget to actively ensure that
both partners are getting their needs met. Feelings may get hurt as each spouse feels
that they are being taken for granted.
Your focus for the next seven days is on the desire to be
affirmed. This brings me to the challenge: every day for one week, take a
moment to think about the wonderful things that your loved one does to improve
your life. Perhaps they prepared breakfast this morning, leaving one less thing
for you to worry about before you headed off to work. Maybe it was picking up
the dry cleaning, or making the bed, or tucking the kids in at night. No matter
how “small” the task may seem, I encourage you to use this week to acknowledge
at least one thing per day that your partner does to help keep the household
running smoothly. This may prompt you to notice things that have previously
gone unrecognized, but it will allow you to pause and verbalize your genuine
appreciation.
After one week, I’m willing to bet that both you and your
spouse will feel more grateful for one another and the relationship that you
share. I would love to hear from anyone who accepts the challenge and
experienced an impact as a result!
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